Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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