did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
