Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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