Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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