Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
