You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
