a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just gargled with NyQuil
I came so hard my ears popped.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
