I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We have started to decorate penises.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
