I'm going to jail i love you
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Text me some of your sweat
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
