Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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