I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
