strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
