you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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