The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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