Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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