so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
