so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
