becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
