seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
