im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
