I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
