Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
