Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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