When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
