I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
