why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
