I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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