i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
