Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
