i permit you to call me
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
