? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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