My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
