im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Randomize
