so explain again why im purple
no
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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