I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
