also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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