He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
