went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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