Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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