The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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