You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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