he shaved USA in his pubs
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
