so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's rum buckets o'clock
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
