With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
