everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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