home. puking in laundry basket.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
A+ Viking dick
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
