Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
it glows. i had to have it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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