Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
