im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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