Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So much rum. So many feels.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
