At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
