i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
