My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
